Supernova
by ListeningtoGrace
Summary: Sirius is desperately in love with Remus but our favourite werewolf is to blind to see it. Sirius/Remus. Ratings for language and mentions of rape
1. Chapter 1

Sirius Black looked helplessly after his friend. What was with Remus? Okay, maybe Sirius had been a little mean but what Remus had said in return was uncalled for. Sure Sirius played with girls, but only girls who threw themselves at Sirius with no regard for their reputation or in other words Sirius' "Fan-girls" but Remus didn't have to call Sirius a man-whore.

Sirius felt the tears drip down his face. _Oh Moony, I'm sorry_

Remus Lupin stormed out on his best friend, trying not to feel guilty about the hurt that was plain on Sirius' face. Maybe Padfoot had been a bit of a jerk but Remus shouldn't have called him a man-whore. It was unspoken Marauder code; you don't bug James about Lily, too much, you don't make PMS or it's his time of the month jokes about Remus in public, you don't call Peter a rat in front of cute girls and you don't call Sirius a man-whore or set him up on blind dates with his fan-girls, no matter how much you wanted too, it was just the rules. Remus looked through the half open door of the Marauders' dormitory to see Sirius crying. Watching quietly from just outside the door Remus saw the weeping boy grab the piece of parchment that was the Marauder's Map and say the revealing spell.

A look of confusion crossed Sirius' face, "Remus, you can come in now".

Remus sighed as he re-entered the dormitory and mumbled an almost inaudible "Sorry Padfoot"

But somehow Sirius caught it because Remus got an instant "It's okay Remy, I 'm the one that should be sorry" in return.

Remy, Sirius was the only one that called Remus Remy. Without thinking Remus pulled the oldest Black son in to a hug. Sirius' arms went around Remus instantaneously and the two spent the rest of the day crying on and apologizing to each other.

"What the fuck you two? Why are my best friends cuddling? If I walk in on anything else like this I'll need therapy for sure" Sirius groaned. James had probably the worst timing of any one Sirius knew. Here Sirius was wrapped in his Remy's arms with Remy just about asleep and James has to come in. If the young Potter had waited even five more minutes Sirius would have got to spend a blissful night in the guy he'd had a crush on for years' arms but Remus would never hold Sirius with James in the room.

Remus looked up at James blushing. "Sorry Prongs, we had a fight and were just apologizing" and Remus quickly moved his arms from Sirius' waist.

Sirius Black shot James Potter a death glare and stalked off to the bathroom leaving a bewildered Remus and a sorry James in awkward silence.

_Please Review. This is my first story and I have no idea what I'm doing. This is intended to be a chapter fic so if you want more just tell me._


	2. Chapter 2

James watched the bathroom door slam as Sirius slipped inside. He was sorry. If he'd ever been that close to getting somewhere with Lily and somebody had ruined the moment at the last second that person would have been lucky to escape with their lives. James was the only person besides Peter who knew Sirius had a thing for Remus. There were lots of times James thought Sirius had a tougher love life than him. Even though James felt as if Evans would never give him the time of day he could still grumble about it to everybody and plus James didn't have to share a dorm with Lily or anything, James had the option of pretending Lily didn't exist unless he wanted her to. Whereas Sirius was close friends with Remus. Sirius spent almost every waking hour with Remus and it didn't take a rocket scientist to realize it was hard on him.

"James, what was that about? Padfoot looked as if he was ready to kill you." Asked a confused Remus.

James groaned, he would never be able to explain to Moony without betraying Padfoot's secret so James lied "We had a spat and haven't made up yet that's all"

Moony snorted "Yeah right, you two never fight. And besides I've never seen Sirius look like he wanted to kill somebody that much and I just called him a man-whore. You know what's going on James; I saw the guilty look on your face. So again I ask, what was that?"

James had just started to stutter a response when a voice cut him off. "Remy, I was mad at James for something he had no control over. He has the worst timing ever" Sirius explained quickly as he shot James an 'it's okay smile' and walked out the door.

James groaned and grabbed the map from where it had fallen beside Sirius' bed. Tossing it to Moony, James mumbled "Watch him like a hawk, if he does one thing that is even remotely suspicious come and get me but for now I'm taking a shower. I should be out in five minutes."

Moony was still looked confused as he nodded his response to James and watched as the bathroom door swung closed.

Moony hadn't taken his eyes off the marker on the map that represented Sirius Black. For now the young heart-throb was sitting alone by the lake. Moony was so absorbed in the task James had given him that he didn't notice the fourth and final Marauder enter the dorm.

"Hey Moony. Where's Prongs? I need to talk to him?" Moony glanced up to see an impatient looking Peter Pettigrew.

"He's in the shower, should be out soon" Remus murmured absently.

"Speak of the devil" Pettigrew said looking at the dripping wet boy with hazel eyes. "James I'm pretty sure we should find Sirius, like right now. I just passed him in the hall; he looks like he did in third year, when we found out…"

James cut Peter off, he heard enough of Pettigrew's babble to know finding Sirius was imperative. "Come on Wormtail, we have to find him before he does something stupid."

James and Peter turned to find their friend when James paused "Moony were you at least watching him and if so where is he? I have a weird feeling we don't have time to play _Marco Polo_, especially when he can't answer _"Polo"_."

Moony looked at them sadly "He's by the lake. Can I come with? It'd be faster seeing as I know about where he is and if push comes to shove can track his scent."

James just nodded and the three boys took off towards the lake.

_I'll try and update once everyday or two but no promises_


	3. Chapter 3

_I realized I forgot disclamers; last I checked I'm not J.K. Rowling so the characters and setting are not mine._

Sirius looked out across the lake through his teary gray eyes. He hated fighting with Moony, he hated being mad at James and he hated crying, coincidently right now he was doing all three and he hated himself for it. He didn't know how long he sat there watching the tears drip onto his hands but the next thing he knew somebody was calling him. "Padfoot? Sirius? PADFOOT?"

Sirius looked up and managed to choke out "Guys? I'm over here." Then he just crumbled and began to sob uncontrollably.

The three other boys ran over to their hysterical friend, as James and Peter bent to help Sirius up they shot a glare at Remus who looked as if he may cry himself. The second James and Peter had Sirius upright Remus pushed them out of the way and began to mumble things like Oh Sirius or Sirius; I'm Sorry or just simply Sirius as he held Sirius against his warm body. They stayed like that for a long time, Wormtail and Prongs were sitting there talking while Moony and Padfoot just cried against each other. Eventually the growling stomachs of the four hungry boys drove them inside. Even though dinner was long since passed the Marauders had no fear of spending the night hungry and impatiently waiting for breakfast the next morning.

Three of the four boys made their way to the dorm while one crept silently through the shadows. It had been decided that James Potter would go nick food from the kitchens, this had been decided because as Head Boy if he got caught out of bed after hours he would be let off way easier than the other three, and seeing as by October they had a combined sixty eight detentions it would be wise to lay low for a bit.

James silently crept through the abandoned halls hidden safely beneath the invisibility cloak. He wasn't watching where he was going so it came as a great shock when he ran into someone, someone with red curls and eyes like new spring leaves, Lily Evans. Still under the invisibility cloak, and on the ground, James smirked, he and Lily were in a position that had only ever happened in his dreams and he loved it. To James' utter dismay Lily got off him quickly, "Whose there?" she asked.

James groaned and shrugged off the cloak, "Hi Lily".

"Potter why the fuck are you out of bed and where the hell were you at dinner?" She half screamed at him.

James looked at his feet, embarrassed "Sirius, he's never mind…"

Lily looked at James curiously "What's wrong with Sirius? Come on James just tell me."

"It's nothing Lily, Remus doesn't even know" James looked at her pleadingly, half of him willing her to drop it the other half begging her to keep at it just so he could talk about this to someone. Having one best friend in love with the other wasn't exactly normal.

"James, just tell me. Sometimes it's good to talk about these things, especially to an outsider who can view the situation with an unbiased outlook." Lily looked smug, as if she knew she was right.

James groaned, he was still slightly aroused from he and Lily's position before and the last thing he wanted to do was try and explain Sirius' feeling for Remus so he made a deal, one he was pretty sure Lily wouldn't go for, "I'll tell you on two conditions, one you kiss me and you do it now and two you go on a date with me. Also the kiss must be on the lips, your lips against mine for at least five seconds"

Lily smirked because little did James know she actually felt something for him and she was worried about Sirius, it didn't take a genius to figure out something was up with him. "Deal, but in addition to telling me what's up with Sirius you will tell me everything I want to know"

James eyes nearly pooped out of his head. Had Evans, Lily Evans, his Lily-flower just said yes to him and agreed to kiss him? Wow, Moony and Padfoot should fight more often, it apparently causes miracles. "Okay but then I get a free kiss that can be used whenever I want it to and there are a few secrets that I have sworn not to tell, those will remain secrets until their owners wish otherwise, regardless of whether you want to know them or not."

Lily nodded, "Okay Potter, we have a deal." And with that Lily kissed him and the worst thing was, she felt sparks, not just baby sparks but the kind that made her want to tangle her fingers in that messy black hair and kiss him so hard he trembled in her arms, she was screwed.

After they pulled away Lily looked into those hazel eyes, "Okay, where were you headed and why couldn't I see you?"

James grinned, at least this one was possible to answer and he didn't have to worry about betraying anyone's secrets but his own "I was on my way to the kitchens to nick some food, as you previously stated we missed supper and now were starving, speaking of that I should at least get the rest of them food before they kill me, meet on the seventh floor corridor in an hour and I'll explain everything then. As for the disappearing act, I'll tell you later. Lily choked on her own saliva and by the time she could breathe again James was nowhere to be seen.

_Reviews are Greatly appriciated_


	4. Chapter 4

_Disclamer; I do not own __Harry Potter_

_I realized while posting this that this entire chapter is mostly James and Lily but it explains some stuff and we'll get back to our puppies soon I promise._

Peter Pettigrew paced impatiently around the dorm, James had been gone for forty five minutes, where was he?

Peter saw a very exhausted Sirius look up at him from where the Black heir was snuggled in a sleeping Remus' arms, it was adorable. "Wormtail stop pacing, you're making me dizzy, Prongs will get here when he gets here. He probably ran into Evans in the halls or something"

Peter opened his mouth to respond but was cut off by a new voice "Padfoot I swear you're psychic, that's exactly what happened, I ran, literally, into Evans. Of course after she got off of me, much to my disappointment, she had to ask me every question in the book and regrettably I agreed to answer after she kissed and agreed to go out with me. Sorry. I'm supposed to meet her by the room of requirement in like ten minutes so here's your food. By the way, Padfoot, you and Remus look cute like that"

Peter was too confused to answer so thankfully Padfoot did it for him, "Thanks Prongs and it's okay. Evans really kissed you?"

James just smiled, nodded, grabbed the map and disappeared again leaving Peter, Sirius and Remus, a coincidently asleep Remus, to dine in peace.

James stole through the halls trying not to get his hopes up that she would show. After six years of being rejected he knew the easiest way not to get hurt was to not care or that's what he kept telling himself, but there still were nights he and Padfoot snuck out to the shrieking shack so they could cry in peace. When James got to the seventh-floor his heart leapt, there was a girl with flaming red hair pacing in the corridor, Lily actually came.

James walked up beside the girl and shrugged out of the cloak, "You can stop pacing now".

Lily jumped and opened her mouth to scream but James clamped his hand over it, "Shh, quiet or we'll be caught and the last thing I need is for Peeves to sing some song about how we sneak out to shag, tomorrow at breakfast."

Lily nodded as she tried to pry James' hand from her mouth, but James just thwarted her and looked around to make sure they were alone. Out of nowhere a door appeared in the side of the wall. Smirking James opened the door, "Shall we?"

Lily followed James into a cozy room. There was a sofa in front of a roaring fire and the only light in the room was a few candles. "James where are we?"

The boy just deepened his smirk, "Lily I'm disappointed, I thought a bookworm like you would know about the room of requirement"

Lily just blinked, "The room of requirement? I thought it was a myth. How, no, when did you find it?"

James smiled, "Our third year, we needed somewhere to talk about, plan and do some stuff. So Padfoot suggested here, he'd found it the year before"

Lily was taken aback. The Marauders had known where the room of requirement was since third year? Well that explained a lot as did the fact Potter, and probably the rest of them, had figured out a way to go invisible. "James I don't get it"

"Could you be anymore vague? What don't you get?" James asked her as he failed to hide a smile.

Lily returned the smile weakly, "Everything, how you can go invisible, why you brought me here, any of it."

"Lily I brought you here because we needed somewhere to talk where we wouldn't be interrupted or overheard. The Marauders' secrets can't be common knowledge."

Lily nodded, she got the secret part, it was obvious those boy were hiding something and worked very hard to keep it hidden, but she still was lost on the disappearing part. "James, how do you go invisible?"

James looked down, slightly embarrassed and handed Lily a piece of cloth, "It's the invisibility cloak"

Lily almost laughed, another myth, who was this guy? "Prove it" she said flatly.

James took the piece of cloth from her and draped over his shoulder so his neck and head appeared to be floating in mid-air. "Proof enough for you?"

Lily just nodded.

James took off the cloak and tossed it aside, "Lills what's wrong? I thought you wanted answers."

Lily looked up, intending to tell James off for teasing her but instead of cold mocking humor she found warm and genuine concern in those hazel eyes, concern, James cared about her. Instead for snapping at him Lily surprised herself and hugged James instead. "I know what I said and I'm fine, it's just a lot to process that's all"

James grinned down at her, "The invisibility cloak, and the room of requirement, that's nothing. Wait 'till you hear the big secrets, what's with Sirius, Remus, the map, the list goes on and on."

Lily froze. James had just hinted that Remus Lupin had a secret, a big one, and even though she and Sev weren't friends anymore she had to find out if his theory was true. "James I don't mean to pry but is Remus a werewolf? Sev had this crazy theory that he was and…" Lily trailed off at the expression on James' face. The look in his eyes said it all, he knew Lupin's secret and that secret was that Remus was a werewolf. Oh gosh, maybe the Marauders weren't so bad after all.

"You can't tell anyone. He thinks that if people know his secret they'll hate him." James looked very tired; as if this were an old argument he was sick of having.

Lily thought this was crazy, hating Remus was impossible, even if he was a werewolf. On any normal day Lily would have stormed away from Potter and went to confront Remus, but to day Lily felt that Remus' insecurities could wait but the exhausted, hollow look in James' eyes couldn't. Something was bothering him and for some strange reason she wanted to help. Scratch that, she wanted to kill whatever or whomever it was that was making him look like that and then after she was done with the murdering, she wanted to kiss the happiness back into him, one sweet little peck at a time. "James what's wrong?"

The boy collapsed against her. Thanks to the sudden increase of weight they both crumbled to the floor. "I spent most of my day trying not to kill Remus while making sure Sirius didn't commit suicide. Believe it or not it's hard work, especially on an empty stomach."

Lily gaped at him. Did Potter just say that Sirius Black, notorious man-whore Sirius Black who seemed to love life and everything in it wanted to commit suicide? Wow. This was bound to be an interesting story. "James. I'm an idiot. Break it down for me. Did you just say Sirius wanted to commit suicide?"

James nodded. "Lills I've only ever seen him like he was today once, when Peter and I found him huddled in the hall clutching a knife with Remus carved into his arm. It was the scariest day of my life."

_Please Review, Favorite and Follow_


	5. Chapter 5

_ Disclaimer: I do not own __Harry Potter_

What time is it? Remus thought as he awoke. His guess was sometime in the early morning but it was too dark to read his watch and he didn't want to wake the others by turning on the lights so he lay in bed staring at the shadowed ceiling. Almost back to sleep Remus felt the lightest shift in his arms and heard a gentle moan. What the fuck? He glanced down to find a sleeping Sirius Black in his arms, cuddled against him. Remus panicked "Sirius? Padfoot? Padfoot wake up!"

"Huh? What time is it? Remy?" Sirius rolled around and cuddled in to Remus some more.

Remus looked down at Sirius sleepy eyes and noticed they were filled with… love and… bliss? He couldn't stop the words from coming out of his mouth, "What the hell Padfoot? Why are we sleeping together?"

Remus had expected a number of reactions to this sentence but what Padfoot did shocked him; Sirius began to cry. "Remy, I'm sorry. Remy, I'm so sorry" Padfoot repeated through his tears until Remy, I'm sorry was just simply Remy.

Sirius and Remus lay there for a long time, unaware of the world until James pulled back the curtain from around Remus' bed. James' happy expression flattered at the sight of his weeping best friend. "What the fuck Remus? You made him cry again?"

Remus was confused. Why did everyone keep blaming him for making Sirius cry? Remus opened his mouth to answer but Padfoot cut him off. "Leave him alone Prongs. I'm fine. Ok?" Padfoot got up and stalked to the bathroom pushing an angry and worried James and a confused Wormtail out of the way.

James groaned and collapsed in a heap on Remus' bed. "Wormtail you know the drill, option A or B?"

Wormtail looked up, "Option B, I'm not in the mood to deal with sobbing boys"

"Ok" James got up and disappeared behind the door that Padfoot had just entered.

Remus glanced at Wormtail, "Option A or B? What was that about?"

Peter looked guilty. "It just something Prongs and I came up with a while ago, when something's up with Sirius one of us must stay with him at all times while someone tries to explain it to you. I got you both last night so I got to pick which one I got today if that makes any sense."

Remus just looked at Pettigrew; his friends had been keeping secrets why? "Wormtail, why wasn't I in on this? It sounds like Sirius has a breakdown fairly often. Were supposed to help each other, that's why we started the Marauders in the first place."

Peter blushed. "I know Moony, and trust me we wanted to tell you but James and I thought that if you reacted badly it would hurt Sirius even more. Maybe we could have let you in on the protocol but then…Never mind. Moony let's just get to class."

Moony thought about what Wormtail had implied, Sirius had a secret that he wasn't allowed to know and Wormtail and Prongs had been keeping it from him. They were supposed to tell each other everything. Remus turned to look at Peter who was trying to get dressed. Remus knew from past experience that it would take Peter a good half an hour to get ready and during that time he would be too focused to the task at hand to notice much else. James was in the bathroom talking with Sirius and he would be harder to get passed but Remus was confident he could get past the Potter and to Sirius, even though Remus didn't look it he was a lot stronger than James, it was just an added bonus of being a werewolf. Without a second thought Remus walked to the bathroom and opened the door.

_Review, Favourite, Follow, and I'll bake you cookies; then eat them all_


	6. Chapter 6

_Disclaimer: __Harry Potter__ is not mine._

Moony opened the door to the boys' bathroom to an unlikely sight. James was holding a sobbing Sirius and trying to mop up what looked like blood off his arm. "Padfoot, Shh. It'll be okay. He's not worth this."

"He _is_ worth it and who said this was about him, it could just as easily be about them." Sirius choked out through his tears.

James just shook his head. "Padfoot…"

Remus cut off James, "What is going on here? He is my friend to and were supposed help each other, Isn't that what the Marauders are about? Will someone please just explain all of this to me?"

James shot Remus a murderous glare and was about to speak but Pads cut him off. "Remus my parents disowned me this summer, as much as I hate them it still hurts."

Remus looked at Padfoot's tearstained face. Well that explained a lot, no wonder Padfoot seemed so fragile. But the parent thing didn't quite fit the conversation Remus had walked in on, the way Padfoot was talking about _him_ wasn't the way he talked about his parents, it was the way James talked about Lily. The heartbroken, hopeful way one talked about a crush they had no chance with. It sounded like Sirius was in love with a boy, a boy he couldn't have. Wait, wait hold up, did this mean Sirius was gay? Remus just stared at his friends blankly. "Sirius…"

Sirius looked up at Moony, praying that he bought the story about him being upset because of his family situation but judging by the look the werewolf was giving him he guessed not. Looking up at Remus like this Sirius' mind wandered back to a few minutes before when he had woken up in Remus' arms. It had been heaven. Some part of Sirius longed to go back in time and just remain in that moment forever but without a time-turner it was impossible and even with one it was still illegal. Sirius had done enough illegal things in his short life to not want to risk it, so he just glanced back at Moony and sighed. "Remy let's take a walk, I want to talk to you."

A confused but willing Remus followed Sirius down to the lake and soon they were out of hearing range. "Remus what would you say to me if I told you I loved someone?"

Remus looked at Sirius "I'd say good for you"

Sirius glanced at his shoes, "What if I told you that someone was a guy?'

Remus froze, "So you _are _gay?"

"What? You knew? How'd you know? Oh god."

"Sirius, it's okay, the idea just crossed my mind today. If I hadn't walked in on you and James it would've never even occurred to me. By the way, who is this guy?"

Sirius' blushed then turned an acute shade of green, he actually had to tell his best friend he loved him because Sirius had this inability to say no to Remus. Fuck. "Remy, it's you okay. I love you. I fucking love you."

_Review, Favourite, Follow. I don't know if I'll have time to update tomorrow but the next chapter will be up before Tuesday._


	7. Chapter 7

_I don't own Harry Potter_

"Remy, it's you okay. I love you. I fucking love you." Sirius looked about the way Remus felt. Out of all the things Sirius could have told Remus, he never expected this one. Sirius Black was in love with him.

Remus looked at Sirius who happened to be crying again. Oh god, every single one of the tears Padfoot had shed over the last few days were for him. James was right he was making Sirius cry. Remus didn't know how to respond. He wasn't gay but right now, looking at Padfoot, just knowing that if he really wanted this boy standing in front of him he could have him, Remus had an urge to just kiss the living daylights out of the boy. "Pads...Shh it's okay."

Sirius looked up at the Werewolf, "Remy I'm sorry."

Remus didn't say anything he just grabbed the crying tearstained boy and held him for a long time.

Remus knew he should think about what to do now. It was clear he and Sirius couldn't go back to being friends but Remus didn't think he could bear not having the Black boy in his life. Maybe he could give things with Sirius a shot. They _had_ been best friends for years and just holding Sirius like he was now wasn't so bad, besides anything was worth it to see the happy, bubbly, way too full of energy marauder stop looking haunted and stop bawling even if it meant Remus would have to date his best friend. Sirius was still sobbing even though it had quieted a bit now that he was in Remus' arms. Feeling extremely guilty Remus asked the question that was burning in the back of his mind, "How long have you loved me?"

Sirius froze and made a choking sound before answering, "Six or seven years, I kind of lost track."

Six or seven _years_? Oh god. Oh Sirius. Remus was nothing special and yet this boy had loved him for six or seven years. Remus wondered how many of Pads' tears had been spilled on his account, how many sleepless nights Sirius had sobbed against James or Peter while he slept silently in his bed. Remus recalled a few nights when he'd woke to find James and Sirius gone and found the map just in time to see them disappear into the passageway that lead to the shrieking shack. Had they been sneaking out to cry over him and Lily? Is that why Sirius seemed hostile towards every one of the girls Remus liked, had he been jealous? As Remus sat there stroking the hair from Sirius' eyes he remembered something.

_James Potter looked up from the book in his lap grinning. Everyone was convinced that James and Sirius couldn't read but over the past few years Remus had discovered they could _read _they just didn't find it necessary to do the reading the professors had assigned. It had thoroughly shocked Remus when he had started spending time with the two of them to find not only were they intelligent and clever but they were far more so than Remus and they applied their brains to something other than schoolwork. They had some of the most wonderful plans Remus had ever seen and even though these plan were to cause humor at the expense of other they still were thought out beautifully, way better than Remus had thought any third year students capable of._

_"What did you find James?" Remus asked warily._

_The Potter shared a smirk with his best friend who was reading over his shoulder. Both boys answered simultaneously "A way to help you."_

_Remus internally groaned. Ever since James and Sirius had figured out his secret they had been trying to help him. They had stayed quiet around the nights of the full moon and tried their hardest to do little pranking around then to and Remus was thankful but he didn't even want to imagine what the two of them had come up with now. This was going to be good. "Do I even want to know what you guys have come up with?"_

_James smirked and Sirius paled, they answered at the same time though, "Probably not but it's still ingenious."_

_Oh Merlin. "What is it?"_

_Sirius looked up at James, "It's too risky. We can't tell them here, someone could overhear. Remy, grab Pete and meet us at the seventh floor in an hour. I'll explain everything then." With that the pale boy with the shaggy hair disappeared and thinking back on it Remus swore he heard a sob, but even to this day couldn't tell you why._

_An hour later the four boys stood in the seventh floor corridor all looking at Sirius expectantly. The Black boy just shrugged as a door appeared in the wall behind him and without another word the boy entered the hidden room. The other three followed quickly, each one confused as to what was going on. They stepped into the room to find a fire and a few comfy chairs; the room was set up very similarly to the Gryffindor common room. Sirius sat down on a chair while the other three looked around in amazement._

_Remus finally spoke, "Sirius where are we?"_

_Sirius glanced down and a blush crept into his cheeks, "The room of requirement. I found it last year; I needed a good place to think without being interrupted."_

Every time Remus looked back on the memory he had assumed Pads had been thinking about the issues he had been having with his family but now Remus wondered if Pads had been thinking about him and coming to terms with his sexuality, in all honesty the later seemed more probable. Remus thought back to all the small hints Sirius had been giving him through the years; the blushes, the unnecessary touches, all the time Remus had thought Sirius had been calling to him in the middle of the night but when he'd went to check what the boy needed, had found Padfoot curled up asleep. Sirius truly did love him and now Remus wondered how he hadn't notice before.

A gentle sob from Sirius brought Remus back to the real world. The weeping boy had thoroughly soaked Remus' shirt. "Siri, it's okay."

Sirius pulled away as the tears streamed down his face, "No Rem it's not okay, I just told you I loved you and you can`t love me back because I`m worthless. Unwantable, Unlovable, Useless, I`m dirty Rem and you deserve so much better than me but I still want you and that makes me sick. Remus just go, go to Melissa or Melinda or whatever her name is; take a chance, ask her out and if she turns you down we have the book of things we were going to do to Lily if she broke James again, we can get even, just go, just go."

Remus stared wide eyed at the boy, _Unwantable, Unlovable, Useless, Dirty? What did Sirius mean? Dirty; Rape? Oh god. Oh Fuck. Oh Sirius._ "Siri, by _dirty _did you mean you were raped, like forced in to sexual relations against your will?"

Sirius collapsed in a fit of hysterical tears giving Remus all the response he needed. Kneeling down in attempt to pick us the broken boy Remus noticed him flinch and begin to scream incoherently, "No Mommy, Daddy. Reg make them stop. Please. I'll be good; I won't do it anymore just stop. Make them stop."

Remus growled. Mr. and Mrs. Black were dead. He would rip their throats out with his bare hands and force their youngest son to watch before he sent sex crazed, rabid werewolves after the boy. They had _raped_ their son and the only person that could have stopped it just stood back and watched. It was sick, it was evil and they deserved to die for it. All three of them deserved to die in the worst ways Remus could think of; maybe he would use the book of payback plans after all. But first Remus needed to deal with Sirius. Slowly picking up the boy Remus did his best to ignore the pained screams and carried his abused friend up to the hospital wing, maybe Madame Pomfrey could help or at the very least knock Sirius out.

By the time the boys arrived Remus was borderline homicidal, only the thought of Sirius in his arms was enough to keep Remus from finding the Blacks and murdering them where they stood. Seeing the situation at hand the healer rushed over to the two boys, "Remus what is it? Is Sirius okay?"

"Okay? Poppy he is not okay; he is the farthest from okay I've ever seen. They raped him. They raped him and Regulas just stood by and watched and meanwhile he just endured it and blamed himself. Unwantable Poppy, that's what he told me, he was _Unwantable, Unlovable, Useless and Dirty_ and that I was too good for him. I'm a werewolf Poppy he is too good for me not the other way around."

Poppy froze, "Raped? Remus you must be mistaken they would never…"

Remus cut her off, "I'm sure of it Poppy. You can do medical examinations later but for now just make him sleep. Let him forget and just rest, please."

The woman nodded and rushed to her cabinets for something to give the boy.

Once Sirius was sleeping peacefully Poppy fixed her and Remus a mug of tea, "Remus tell me what happened."

Spilling his guts Remus gave the witch every detail he could remember about the last few days and what he knew about Sirius' home life. By the end Poppy was shaking with both anger and sorrow. "Remus go find Professor Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall and tell them everything you just told me. Then get James and Peter, I'm sure they'll want to be here for Sirius. I'll perform some tests and see what I can find."

"Okay Poppy, but do I have to tell Dumbledore and McGonagall the bit about Sirius bring in love with me?"

Poppy just laughed and shook her head before walking to Sirius' bed to begin the tests.

_Review, Favorite, Follow and help Remy kill the Blacks, you'll get cookies_


	8. Chapter 8

_I don't own Harry Potter. This chapter is short and very sucky so if you have suggestions please share them, the next one is a bit better. _

James was sitting in the common room with Lily's head in his lap when a very frazzled Remus ran in. "Hospital Wing now. Sirius. Where's Peter?"

James sat up, half dumping Lily on to the floor. "He's right here. What's wrong with Siri?"

Remus just growled. "His fucking family."

James worried expression instantly turned murderous. "What happened? Did they hurt him? They're so dead."

"They fucking raped him. Regulas just stood there and watched; at least that's what he told me."

"Oh Merlin. Moony let's go."

Sirius woke in a strange room with a killer head ache. "Where am I?"

"The hospital wing, Hun; Remus brought you in." Came the famously over cheery voice Sirius knew all too well, Madame Pomfrey.

"Why?"

She brushed his long hair from his face. "You were in hysterics. Sirius honey were you raped?"

Sirius froze. She couldn't know, nobody could know. How did she find out? Sirius began to shake uncontrollably. "Umm, uh, no." Sirius didn't even sound convincing to himself.

Madame Pomfrey smiled sadly at him. "It's okay honey. I know this is hard for you."

Sirius knew she wanted him to talk but didn't remember how to form words. He was too busy mental reviewing the last twenty four hours. _Why on Earth had he decided to confess his feeling to Remus? He was going to lose his best friend just because he wasn't smart enough to keep his mouth shut. _

The minutes soon turned into hours and still Sirius sat there staring in to space. He was vaguely aware of voices and somebody pulling him on to their laps.

"Padfoot? Come on we'll be late for dinner" A voice mumbled in his ear.

Sirius just shook his head and subconsciously cuddled closer to the person who was holding him. "Don't worry, you guys go ahead, I've got him."

_Favourite, Follow, Review_


	9. Chapter 9

_I don't own __Harry Potter__._

Sirius still wasn't sure who was holding him but it didn't really matter he was content to lay in their arms for the foreseeable future. "Siri, would you look at me please?"

Slowly Sirius turned to face the person. "Remy?"

"Siri we should talk."

_No, No, No, No! We should not talk because talking leads to me being told that I'm a great person but you can't be my friend anymore and…_ "I don't want to talk Remy."

"Fine. I'll talk." Remus paused to look at Sirius before continuing. "Sirius you're my best friend and I think the world of you but I'm not gay, and up until a few hours ago you weren't either. I still want to be your friend but I need time to figure this out. I'm sorry.

Sirius sat there dumbly waiting for Remy's words to sink in. When they did he wasn't sure whether he should laugh or cry. On one hand Remus still wanted to be his friend but on the other the boy he'd loved for years had turned him down. Rejection hurt, no matter how carefully it was done or how much you expected it. Rejection hurt because somewhere in the back of your mind no matter how much you ignore it was hope. Hope that they would love you back, hope that just for once maybe something would go your way. Rejection was a way of taking that hope and breaking it right along with your heart. And right then Sirius' heart was breaking, it was breaking in to a billion little pieces each and every one of them was feeling that retarded emotion of hope, hope that Remus would put them back together, even though in his head Sirius knew that was impossible.

Sirius heard himself sob and crumbled against Remus who, for some reason was still holding him.

Remus looked down at the boy in his arms and felt instantly guilty; he couldn't love Sirius the way the boy wanted him to but he couldn't stand seeing Sirius so miserable either. Feeling internally conflicted Remus carried Sirius back to their dorm.

"Moony you really have to stop making him bawl" Peter said as Remus entered the room.

James and Peter were sitting on the floor with a big book in their laps and mischievous smirks on their faces. "Is this really the time for petty pranks?" Remus asked setting Sirius on his bed; hopefully the boy would cry himself to sleep soon, sleep would ease the pain.

"You _don't_ want to torment Regulas?"

_Oh they were pranking Sirius' little brother, well that changes things._ "What exactly do you have planned?"

The three boys stayed up to the wee hours of the night devising plans to get even with the Blacks for what they did to Sirius, while the other boy spent the night having really _good_ dreams about a nerdy goody two shoes werewolf, that wasn't so well behaved in his fantasies. Remus was right, sleep did ease the pain.

_Review, Favourite, Follow_


	10. Chapter 10

_I don't own __Harry Potter__. If anyone has any idea what I should do for revenge on the Blacks please tell me, I'm grasping at straws here._

The next morning was awkward. Sirius and Remus only interacted with each other once; Remus' towel fell to the floor when he was getting out of the shower leaving Sirius to gape at the naked boy until James pulled him away.

Before breakfast was even over James and Peter were devising a schedule so Sirius would never be unattended and in the same room as Remus alone. Sirius was sinking into depression fast; he didn't touch his food that morning or acknowledge anyone. He'd tried to talk to Remus just to be brushed off and left the table abruptly. Peter found him a while later in an alcove curled up in a ball with tears streaming down his face.

"Lily?" James' voice was quiet as he sat down beside her in the Library.

"What James?" She was trying to be cold and uncaring but the smile in her voice gave her away.

"Can I ask a huge favor of you?" James was smirking; he had something up his sleeve.

"Depends on the favor"

James quickly explained his plan to Lily, plan she was all too eager to help him with.

It was later that day and Remus Lupin was sitting in the Gryffindor common room reading when a blushing Red Head sat down beside him. "Remus can I talk to you?"

"What is it Lily?" His head was still buried in his book so he missed the smirk the girl shared with one James Potter hidden in a corner watching the exchange with a smile on his face.

Putting on a false flirtatious voice and batting her eyelashes way more than was necessary Lily put on the best performance of her life. "Well the thing is I've had this major crush on you for the longest time but I was afraid to act on it because your friends are such prats but they seem to have grown up a bit this year and I was wondering if maybe you wanted to go out with me?"

_Review, Follow, Favourite. Short Chapter I know; the next one should be longer._


	11. Chapter 11

_I don't own Harry Potter, if I did Harry would not marry Ginny and Draco Malfoy would have a twin sister._

Remus gaped at Lily, "What?"

"Do you want to go out with me?" Lily asked again putting a fake quiver in her voice to make it seem as if this was really hurting her.

"Of course Lily." Remus pulled her in for a quick hug, mostly to make her stop _crying_ but whatever.

Lily gave him an awarding winning smile and fluttered out of the portrait hole to speak to a waiting James Potter.

Later that night in the Marauders dorm room shit hit the fan. James was _pissed_ at Remus for _stealing his girl._ Sirius was confused as to whose side he should take (Remus was happy but James called dibs on her a long time ago) so he just curled up and cried over his breaking heart. Peter had given up on mediating and was trying to console Sirius, a task easier said than done.

The next morning it was apparent the Marauders hadn't slept a wink and that they were fighting. James and Peter had formed a protective circle, (well semi- circle, it's hard to make a circle with two people) around Sirius and Remus had went off to sit with Lily Evans who promptly proceeded to snog the life out of him.

This trend carried on for quite some time, even the faculty was getting worried. Remus came in from full moons in terrible shape and Lily was _convinced _he was cheating on her. Sirius came to class looking more and more like a shell each day.

It was almost Christmas and the once inseparable group lay in shreds. Hidden away from the rest of the school was a boy with hazel eyes and a girl with red hair, they were kissing furiously. "Is he in love with you yet?"

"Shh. You're ruining the mood but he's close. We should be ready for phase just after Christmas." The girl mumbled pulling the boy back on to her resuming their snogging session.

They were like that for many more hours, oblivious to the fact in the room next to them there was a boy pleading for the person on top of him to stop and that hidden in the shadows was a rat watching them growing more and more angry with each passing second.

_Review, Follow, Favourite. Another Short Chapter I know; these are just fillers so when we get to bigger and better things you aren't totally lost. I don't know if I'll have time to update this weekend but the next chapter will be up by Tuesday I promise. _

_Thanks to all of you who have Followed, Favorited, or Review this story._


	12. Chapter 12

_I don't own __Harry Potter.__ I know I said this would be up yesterday but life was crazier than expected._

Sirius sat in his room at the Potter's staring out the window, a gleaming piece of metal pressed to his wrist. The blood was trickling down on to the floor leaving odd crimson patterns on the hard wood. The moon was full that night and he felt awful, the canine in him longing for its Alpha. Christmas break had just started and his body still ached from what Snape and Malfoy had put it through. He hated them but they made him forget Remus even if just for a moment.

"You asshole." James Potter found himself on his ass in a snow bank with one pissed off Peter Pettigrew on top of him.

"Hi Pete." James was confused. "Why am I an asshole?"

"You and Evans, she is still dating Remus, it'll break his heart and we have enough heartbroken friends at the moment. He's in love with her you know."

James smiled guiltily, "I know. Pete, Lily and I have a plan but in order for it to work we have to leave Remus a vulnerable mess."

"What is this plan?" Peter glared at James.

"I can't tell you because if this doesn't go the way we want it to, somebody will still have to take care of Siri and Remy and they won't want it to be me. Now come on its Christmas, were missing presents."

"Presents are good."

"Sirius can we talk?" Remus asked placing a gentle hand on the boy's shoulder.

"Talk about what Remus? I don't give a shit about how good Evans is in bed and that's all you ever want to talk about lately."

"I don't love Lily. Everyone thinks I do but I don't."

Sirius turned to gape at the boy. "What?"

"I don't love Lily, hell I don't even really like Lily. She's an extreme version of me with red hair. I don't like me, or red heads for that matter. I only started dating her because it's what everyone expected and she looked as if she was about cry."

Sirius found himself giving Remy a bear hug. Why? He didn't know but suddenly he felt as if he was walking on air. _He doesn't love the bitch; maybe I still have a shot._ This of course was not what the rational part of his brain was thinking but somewhere deep in his subconscious these thoughts were fluttering around and making him hope like the love stricken, fool hearted teenage boy he was. It was great. "Why haven't you dumped her then?"

Remus felt himself return Sirius' smile and barely manage to supress the urge to spin the boy around like in some cheesy, romance flick. "Because I don't know how but I was hoping you could help me with that."

"Mr. Lupin how ever do you expect me to help you dump a girl? I'm gay, no experience in girls, remember?"

"You're also the resident man-whore." Remus declared cheekily before turning serious, "I was going to tell her there was someone else and maybe try and set her up with James. He is way more suited for her than I am, if they don't kill each other first."

Sirius' face fell. "Who is this _Someone Else_?"

Remus placed a chaste kiss on Sirius's forehead, "That my dear friend is where you come in."

_Review, Follow Favourite. _

_P.S. I don't think this story will be more than a few chapters longer._


	13. Chapter 13

_ Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, if I did I'd be rich and there'd be a lot more about the Marauders_

"What?"

Remus sank to his knees. "I realized something when I was with Lily; girls do absolutely nothing for me. Every time I got even remotely aroused when I was with Lily was thanks to thoughts of you changing, or flying or sometimes even just your face did me in. It took a really terrible relationship with a girl for me to figure out I'm gay and kind of in love with you so if you still want me I'm all yours."

Sirius was silent, his face blank. He left Remus worrying on his knees for almost a minute before letting the mask fall and tackling Remus to the floor; tears of pure joy running down his face. "Remy, I love you too." And With that Sirius Black shared their first kiss but rest assured it wouldn't be their last.

Sirius and Remus managed to keep their relationship secret for the rest of the break though one sneaky, amazing, over protective rat was getting suspicious. James was oblivious to occupied with thoughts of his Lily-Flower to even notice Sirius and Remus could stand in the same room as each other for more than five seconds without Sirius running in tears.

When the boys returned to school they were greeted by one very impatient Lily Evans. "Where were you Remus?"

"On the train Lily" Remus muttered rolling his eyes.

Lily's eyes let on that she very much didn't believe him but pulled the werewolf in for a hug anyway. A few seconds later she broke away with an expression of pure shock on her face. "Is that a hickey?"

Remus looked slightly mortified while Sirius smirked. "Um? Uh? Yeah. Yeah it is. Lily I kind of found someone else over Christmas break and I love him way more than I love you and I think you should give Potter a chance."

"Him?" Lily asked staring helplessly at James who was in turn looking at Sirius who was grinning ear to ear.

"Him. Sirius Orion Black." As Remus pulled Sirius in for a hug James fell to the floor in shock.

_I know this took forever and I'm __**so**__ sorry so in penance I'll try and finish this by Monday if you guys review and tell me you want more._


End file.
